I had my hair relaxed for the first time in 3rd grade, I believe. The last time I relaxed my hair, I was 19 years old. The decision to never have a relaxer again wasn't one that I contemplated on for very long. I was about 21 when I made the decision. For two years I kept my hair braided or twisted. As I kept taking them down and combing out my hair, I thought to myself, I look good with a fro. It was then that I realized how versatile my hair can be, and I loved it!
I never knew how confined I was when it came to having relaxed hair because it was all I knew, aside from single braids or cornrows. Relaxing my hair meant having my hair chemically straightened. The relaxer, which was about the consistency of mayonnaise or a thick conditioner was something that could burn your scalp. Because of this, I couldn't scratch my head a week before getting it relaxed or "touched up." This could cause the relaxer to get into the open sore, burn, and create scabs - of which I always had. I couldn't get my hair wet. Water would cause my hair to crinkle or "kink up." When washing my hair every week, I had to wrap or roll it with rollers and sit under the hair dryer. I hated sitting under the hair dryer. Still do. Or, I could blow dry it or use a flat iron to get it as straight as possible. Sure, I could curl it with a curling iron as well, but that was about it. Even if I wanted my hair braided, I was told to wait until I had new growth so that the braids would have something kinky to hold on too, as opposed to the sleek straightened hair.
During the two years I kept my hair braided and twisted, I kept noticing my afro. After coming to the conclusion that I could rock an afro with complete confidence, I realized that if I relaxed my hair again, I wouldn't be able to wear an afro. I also realized I could get my hair braided when ever I wanted and not have to wait for my kinky hair to grow out before doing so. Lastly, I realized if I wanted my hair straight, I would just get it pressed. I didn't need to have a chemical on my hair to straighten it, and I could still wear any style I wanted to.
Once I decided to start taking care of my hair, I looked to the internet to find out how. I also found several new hair styles I wasn't aware of. two strand twists, flat twists, twist outs, braid outs, coils, up-dos, even how to give my hair the "spiral curl" look, and the look of having big soft curls, all with out the use of a curling iron. Amazing! Some styles, I've tried, others I haven't, and still some that need a bit more (okay a lot more) work on my end. I love being able to play with my hair, and I want to be able to master the different styles. I just know it is going to take some time.
There are even so many styles for men, such as coils, corn rows, dread locks, twsts, twist outs, braid outs, and straw sets - not just the close cut fade that most men wear. I was even able to help a friend out who needed a style that would allow him to retain his length, as he has been growing his hair for months, but still looked neat and professional. I suggested finger coils or comb coils, and he said it was a perfect style for what he needed.
Even though this blog started out as a way to help me document where I've been, where I am, and where I want to go, I am happy that it's helping people out. I'm very excited to be where I am on my kinky hair journey. I am learning to take care of my hair, style it, and I am coming into my own.
Thank You for reading, and as always,
Happy Healthy Hair,
~Millah Sirhea
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